I'm going to start off immediately apologizing to anyone (if you're out there) that is reading my blog who doesn't want to know about breastfeeding. I will tell you right away to close the blog, sign into facebook, and surf the web because this will not be the place for you today!
After five months of starting the weaning process, Paul and I have finally decided to stop breastfeeding Max for good. Some of you may chuckle and why I included Paul. I'm very serious about this - dad's are just as important in a breastfeeding family as mom's are - especially during the weaning process.
Max has loved his mama's milk from day one. He knew right what to do after birth and has officially been a milk addict ever since. His first sign language was 'milk' and his nose has led him to his mom whenever his tummy felt the tiniest rumble. My hope was to wean him completely by age one which is why I started weaning him at 9 months. We successfully decreased the number of feedings to just nighttime but immediately became stuck there. Since I value my sleep, it became much easier for me to simply give him a snack in the middle of the night verses let him cry it out. My friends kept badgering me telling me to give it up, fearful I'd be "that woman" who was still nursing their son in middle school. I kept saying, "He's not ready" or "We'll get there soon". Recently we were at the library for story time and a mom started nursing her hungry little boy. Max closely watched what happened and then ran to me, of course those fingers closing in on his hand, eagerly signing "milk, milk, milk!" I've never been a public nurser (nothing against it - I actually give mad props to women who are brave enough to do so) so of course I told him 'no' and he was easily distracted...phew. Crisis averted. However, this was a wake up call that Paul and I needed to join forces and stop this milk addiction before he was seven and coming up to me at a basketball game, eagerly signing 'milk' after he had eaten a Snicker's bar.
So Paul and I formed a plan and started Sunday night with the "No Mama's Milk" intervention. We failed miserably. After two hours of screaming, I scooped up my tear stained baby boy and cuddled him closely as he had a quick snack. He fell asleep in two minutes. Monday night we formed a new plan and started phase two of the "No Mama's Milk" intervention. We failed miserably - twice. This time, he fell asleep only to wake up an hour later in tears, confused, and of course - wanting milk. After an hour, I scooped up my upset little man and gave in to his wants. He grinned and sighed...
Tonight we entered phase three - and so far - success! No promises during the night, though...
What I learned from this is that its not really about Max. Its about me. I don't want to give up nursing. Yes, the biting, sleepless nights, and commitment have been a bit overwhelming but it is so much more than that. I love that quality time that I can only spend with him. It is a relationship that is unique only to Max and me and he treasures it as much as I do. I can make any troubles, ouchies, or cries go away in an instant and see those happy blue eyes. Weaning is not about stopping a habit, its about accepting that my baby has grown into a toddler and its time to start fostering independence rather than dependence. As I write this with a few tears in my eyes, I know I'm going to miss nursing Max more than any other part of Max's baby days. I will appreciate more sleep at night but I hope that Max will soon be able to just cuddle his mama without the milk demand. I miss that unique and special time we shared together but I will always be him mom - and that is unique enough for me!!
