Yes, I'm a Celine Dion lover (no that's not my confession....I'm proud of it!). I know (Lindsey Heim)...you are shuddering but I can't help but just feel this sense of power and strength as I blare her music through the house and sing her ballads like I'm the winner of American Idol.
The confession here is that I can't be a mom by myself. Of course I have Paul. I don't mean that at all. I am very blessed to be happily married and have a husband who helps tons. This blog is more about the fact that I need a village to raise my kids.
A dear kindred spirit once told me about her friends who did mission work in remote villages of a third world nation. It could have been Africa, the Middle East, or Asia...I don't remember. The point was that she told me how these remote villages would have no electricity, running water, or modern conveniences. Yet all the moms of the village would come together to raise all the village children. They saw each other's kids as their own kids and everybody worked together to help one another. These missionaries were shocked to return to their home and realize that they were living in a hostile, competitive and sometimes very violent and hurtful country....The United States. Welcome to Mommy Wars.
We are all guilty of it. If I even start to point a finger, three are pointed right back at me. Mom Blogs are going viral on facebook. Some are lately about this very topic. I love reading mom blogs but I do laugh about myself when reading them. Just when I think "Yes! This mom has it! That's how I will raise my kids!"...then...I read another blog that contradicts those idea and I'm persuaded that this other way is actually the right way. It can get exhausting.
Let's face it. Moms are scary. Think about it. You load your kids up at the park and what's the first thing you check out when you get to the park. Not the kids, not the bathrooms, not the quality or temperature of slides. It's the moms. You look at...what are they wearing, how are they parenting their children, what kind of stroller with matching diaper bag are they sporting, and what healthy, homemade organic snacks did they bring (as I usually hide the cookies and juice boxes!!) And then as you get the courage to say hi and start in conversation, it turns quickly to what issues are presently being faced with your kids and you are quick to say how you solved this problem and the steps that you took to do that.
(Again...please know that "you" in this case is truly "me".)
The scariest thing about Mom Wars is that they are silent and subtle. We don't even know we are doing them! But I am....throwing on my battle gear to somehow create the illusion that I have it together and boy do my kids have it together! Trust me, I'm fooling nobody.
What I am confessing is that I want to shed my battle gear, shield, and sword and live in this village that my missionary friends speak of. No, I don't think I'm being called at the moment to live in the Amazon Rainforest but I am liking the idea of a village. Honestly, after my own civil war in my house this week, giving up modern conveniences (even disposable diapers) for moms who hug, support, care for, praise and help one another sounds worth it. I'd even give up showering. Who has time for that anyway?
I am very blessed with my family and friends. They are my village here in so many ways. My mother will come in a heartbeat to help with any doctor appointment, painting project, or illness. My friends will listen to me for HOURS talk about my mom problems and kid problems. I am so blessed with my friends in Des Moines/Altoona and feel very supported in all areas.
My wish is that I could change the American way to be less of a battle zone and more of a village. *Epic Music playing in background* While I know I can't change society, I do know I can change myself. I can put the war paint away and focus more on being that village to my own family and friends. I can worry less about the kind of stroller and listen more to what my friend is saying. I can sympathize and hug more than offer silly steps and "researched" material.
Mostly importantly, I can turn to the Bible and the Lord. Returning to the word of my Heavenly Father reminds me of the foolproof parenting way - LOVE. LOVE my children. LOVE my family and friends. LOVE all children.
Did you notice most of this blog was about MOMS and ME...not my kids? When my focus is turned to my Heavenly Father and what His LOVE for me looks like, then the focus can be on my own beautiful CHILDREN and less on being supermom. Afterall....a cape by itself won't make you fly....but the superpower of LOVE has no limits nor boundaries.
